


Reclaimed

by honeyfarm



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Comforts Dean, Character Study, Dean Learning to love himself, Dean is autistic, Dean reclaiming his identity, Dean x therapy, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, M/M, dean is bi, dean loving himself, feel good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27552643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyfarm/pseuds/honeyfarm
Summary: TW - uncensored r-slur and f-slurDISCLAIMER - i’m neurodivergent and gayJohn Winchester had influenced Dean growing up. He had thrown around slurs like they were nothing and Dean absorbed all the hate.But Dean is bisexual. And Dean is autistic. And he is more than his fathers words. He is proud to be himself.
Relationships: Dean/Therapy, DeanCas, Destiel
Comments: 8
Kudos: 114





	Reclaimed

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfic writer Slinky_Writes helped me out with this!! Go check out their work!! They’re an awesome writer!!

_** TW - uncensored r-slur and f-slur ** _

_ “I just found out my old hunting buddy was a fag. Can’t believe I shared a bed with that homo.” _

_ “This fucker is driving like a retard!” _

_ “You’re dressed like a faggot, Dean!” _

_“What the hell, Dean?! Are you fucking retarded?!”_   
  


So many phrases that Dean played in his head every time he looked at himself in the mirror, his father’s voice echoing in his brain. Back when John’s influence on him had an iron grip, Dean strived to be the favorite. To be the one his dad was proud of. He just wanted his dad to be proud. But looking in the mirror, staring into his own green eyes, he was exactly what his dad hated. He was a retarded faggot, as his father would have put it. He was autistic. He was bisexual.

Dean found out about the bisexuality first. When that beautiful angel with blue eyes held that FBI badge upside down, when he scared the poor prostitute, when he laid a hand on him and pulled him out of hell and told him how much he was worth. Dean fell in love with an angel. Which would have been fine. But, that angel was a man. 

Dean wouldn’t argue; he had definitely had some internalized homophobia in the past. He saw it when he looked in the mirror and hated what he saw. He saw a mess. He saw confused. He saw a disappointment to his father. He saw a faggot, and he hated every moment of it. 

Everyday, Dean thanked fate or destiny or whatever for Cas. For everything he had done for him. For convincing him of his worth and helping him love himself for the first time in forever. But, as much as Cas had helped him, sometimes Dean had no one but himself. And sometimes he had Cas. And sometimes he had Sam or Jack or Rowena or Jody or Donna or Crowley. So many people had gotten him to where he was today, able to proudly proclaim his identity as his. 

After years of trauma, once things had settled down, Castiel had convinced Dean to go to therapy. He had even found a hunter therapist so he didn’t have to lie. Several referrals and appointments later, Dean was diagnosed with autism. And since then, everything made a lot more sense. 

Dean did some research; Castiel and Sam had helped him. He found out about special interests first. It made sense. Dean has always been very passionate about cars, classic rock, and scooby doo. He had a hard time paying attention to things if one of those weren’t involved. He spent copious amounts of time thinking about and doing things that involved his special interests. 

Then of course was the stimming. Dean tended to flap his hands when he was happy. He shook his fists when he was mad. He often caught himself shaking his hands with pent up energy. 

Then was the tendency to struggle with empathy. Of course Dean felt empathy, but sometimes he got so overwhelmed with everything going on it was so hard to remember that other people could be overwhelmed too. And Dean was working on that. Small events provoked huge reactions when he was too overwhelmed. Sometimes Dean’s bluntness hurt people’s feelings. He didn’t mean to; he thought it would help. Advice. Even if it was a bit to the point. Despite the occasionally harsh delivery, Dean deeply cared about his family. He just wanted to help them. 

But Castiel helped. Having Cas wrap his wings around him and hug him close helped. He loved running his hands through Cas’ feathers; he loved the texture, it calmed him down. 

Dean grinned, looking up at himself in the mirror. Tears of joy filled his eyes as he got ready for his date with Castiel. The first one in public. The first one that took place outside of the bunker. He was finally comfortable being out and affectionate with his boyfriend. He flapped his hands happily, excited and filled with joy. 

Dean could finally accept himself. He was finally proud. He was a retarded faggot, as his father would have put it. And he was damn proud of it too. 

**Author's Note:**

> You are more than your parents. You are more than your family. You are more than you think. Stay strong; it gets better. <3


End file.
